i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
