Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
