is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
