I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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