Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
