why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am available for nakedness
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
