so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
