I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
