ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You are a booty call, not a friend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
