Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
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