Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
