Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
