her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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