So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
