I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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