its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
