I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
