Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think your dad took our porno
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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