Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just had sex on a roof
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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