We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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