this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
