The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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