You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
