There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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