I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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