He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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