The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
