Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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