Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
