Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
