don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
