What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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