If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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