you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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They took my balls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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