gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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