I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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