so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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