Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
