brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
