Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
