Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
