He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
