I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
