We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
