the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my vagina is haunted
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
