Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I want a musical about memes.
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