at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
