I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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