I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I need water and some morals
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
