didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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