Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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