Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she told me i tasted like america
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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