I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
