even my farts smell like vagina
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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