What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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