At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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