i don't like sucking hair
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
there is glitter all over my balls
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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