i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
