im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
