If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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