Whod you bang
I wish I only lived at night.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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