i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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